Review: Dallas (2012 Revival)

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past few months, you’ll know that Dallas is back on our screens, after much hype. TNT’s continuation of the iconic soap premiered on Wednesday in the US (with many eager fans also watching from outside the country online) and has completely surpassed my already high expectations. Let’s not understate my opinions here – I was grinning like an idiot throughout the whole two episodes. Here’s a run down of thoughts on the series – with the general theme being Oh. My. God. This. Is. AMAZING.

• JR is back! From the onset it appeared we may have been left with a shell of the man that was JR Ewing – an elderly curmudgeon sat grumbling in a nursing home. However, it’s clear that showrunner, Cynthia Cidre has big plans for JR as in no time he’s back to his scheming ways – playing both his estranged son and brother for fools. The moment Larry Hagman put that stetson on again, that’s the moment Dallas came back.

• Sue Ellen’s off the sauce and unfortunately no longer “a drunk, a tramp, and an unfit mother” (sad times). Linda Gray like Larry Hagman and Patrick Duffy, has aged wonderfully and it is hugely exciting to see Sue Ellen back. She’s running for governor and she don’t need no man. *clicks fingers*

• Bobby is also back on top form, this time stepping into the role of the patriarch of the family. Bobby has a new wife who knows how to handle a shotgun (in the form of Desperate Housewive’s Mary Alice aka Brenda Stong), but he also has cancer (sad face). Although, I have a feeling he’s going to be okay.

• Josh Henderson is currently dominating the screen as John Ross, proving to be one of the revival’s finest assets. The young actor is perfectly cast as the conniving, or possibly just misunderstood son of JR. He also looks good in a cowboy outfit, which helps – but it is also nice when he takes it off. 

• I have some doubts about Jesse Metcalfe’s Christopher Ewing, of course it’s hard not to like Jesse, but Christopher is a bit too dull. He’s far too nice and quite frankly I’m not sure if he has pecs or manboobs. This troubles me greatly. 

• I’m still trying to work out which one is Jordana Brewster and which is Julie Gonzalo, but I do know, I like them both. 

• Charlene Tilton’s cameo as Lucy Ewing was a surprise joy – mainly because she looks four times older than her “Uncle Bobby” – Patrick Duffy. Let’s hope she features later in the series – we need that  lovable poison dwarf back!

• TNT’s update is also missing Victoria Principal. Obviously, it’s sensible not to bring back all the big characters at once, but fingers crossed that Miss Pamela Barnes makes an unwelcome return to Southfork to stir up some trouble. 

• The titles could do with the casts’ faces appearing, but I do love that they have kept the original text style, similar video and music. 

In these two episodes, TNT brought Dallas’s betrayal, scandal, sex, oil, stetsons and Southfork into the 21st Century – making a smooth transition from the old to the new, whilst also maintaining to keep what we all loved about the series. The young cast get their chance to shine, but it still proves to be the iconic characters of JR, Sue Ellen and Bobby that still have us transfixed. We need big trashy soaps like this, and none were better than Dallas and Dynasty (Titans and Models Inc. came close, but unfortunately proved too short to make any impact.)

So what does all this mean? Dallas is back and Oh. My. God. It. Is. AMAZING.